Daddyless Daughters

This is what I see with most women struggling with romantic relationships with men. I might be wrong. If a woman didn’t have a good relationship with her father, she will almost certainly struggle with her relationships with men. One thing that I have learned from women is that they need to feel safe in some way. Safe physically, psychologically, emotionally. etc. If a woman doesn’t feel safe, she turns into a very masculine person. But if she feels safe, she is feminine. Generally, if a woman has an excellent father, she will be fairly healthy and well. If she has a bad father, then she will be fairly unhealthy and unwell.

A woman needs her father in order to have a stable and productive life with men. A father teaches his daughter how to receive love and respect from a man that is non-sexual and unconditional. She also doesn’t have trust issues with men because she had a good father and knows that there are good men out there that will treat her right. She is generally comfortable letting a good man take the lead and trusts and respects the man as she would her father. The father also builds her confidence and self-esteem. He keeps her safe and is her emotional rock. So when she dates a man and he doesn’t give her the kind of treatment she would receive from her father, she doesn’t even waste time with the man. Most of the time, she usually picks the right man for herself.

But if a woman doesn’t have a father or father figure in her life, she doesn’t know how to pick a man. Most of her choices in men are random. She could marry a medical doctor one minute and then a car mechanic the next minute, both with completely different personalities and characteristics. The woman doesn’t know what true love from a man looks and feels like. They have low self-esteem, so when a good man comes along, they feel unworthy of him and run to the bad man. They have intense trust issues because they were abandoned by their father emotionally and psychologically and don’t trust men as a result. She is constantly in fear of the man hurting her and she tends to be psychologically unstable. She has no emotional rock at all, so she has no one to turn to. She picks a man based on how she feels at the moment but not based on what she knows to be true considering how she grew up. The woman is effectively lost because she was molded in a way that makes it awfully hard to get the man that she desires. Thus, the woman goes from man to man looking for love but never truly finding it.

I find that the more promiscuous the woman, the greater chance that she is a fatherless daughter. She needs love and attention more than anything in the world, and she gets it from her father figure. When the father figure isn’t there, she searches for it with other men. The trouble is, most of the time, men see her as a sexual object. Since she doesn’t understand what true love is from a man, she confuses sex with love. Thus, I think promiscuous women tend to be fatherless daughters.

The general rule that I have discovered with women is this. The more masculine a woman is, the more afraid and fearful she is. The more feminine a woman is, the less afraid and fearful she is. A masculine woman doesn’t trust anyone, so she has to handle things herself. But deep down inside, she wants to trust a good, decent man. She just doesn’t know what that man looks like. It is almost like an abstract idea and not something in reality. She honestly believes that every man cheats and is neglectful to women. In order to protect herself from men, she becomes masculine and starts to do things for herself. She tells herself that she doesn’t need a man over and over and over again. But she also has her feminine side that yearns to come out of her. Being masculine is a little unnatural for her at times and she struggles being both masculine and feminine. Thus, in the midnight hour, she secretly yearns for a good man to come rescue her and let her be a woman. She won’t admit it to anyone, but she certainly feels it.

Meanwhile, the feminine woman isn’t afraid or fearful. She has a good man that she can trust. The man isn’t controlling. He isn’t manipulative. He doesn’t even try to tell her what to do. He is a leader. He inspires her to be her best self. He allows her to be herself, all while providing a safe space for her to be that person. The man builds her the house or structure and the woman makes it into her home or domain where she can feel comfortable and safe. With that security there, she can be feminine. She trusts her man and respects him because he has proven he is worthy of respect.

A woman shows strength not through being masculine, but by being feminine. A woman letting a man open the door for her is showing strength. A woman letting a man buy her things to make her happy is showing strength. A woman being feminine is a very powerful woman.

I think men and women have lost ways to interact with each other. These are things that I have learned from my experiences with romantic relationships. I have failed quite a bit with women, so I had to learn from my mistakes and improve. But I think this picture somewhat shows what’s going on.